At your core there is innocence and openness, a spirited soul that wants connection, acceptance and safety. There is not one thing wrong with you. Who you really are knows how to love and be loved, even if love has never actually happened. It knows what it’s looking for, and you can trust its instincts toward connection and love. Who you really are is trustworthy. What gets in the way of you trusting yourself? What gets in the way of allowing yourself to exist fully? What gets in the way of expressing your love and letting love in? What are you holding back and why are you holding it back? My guess is that somewhere in the past you came to believe you are bad and unacceptable. And then all your strength and power got channeled into helping you survive despite your badness. You created barriers and personas that helped protect you. And every place you go and everyone you relate with interacts with those personas and runs into those barriers and both you and the people who know you start to mistake you for your protective parts. Who you really are is hidden away someplace safe, not getting any sunshine, not getting any care or attention, hurting and longing for its innocence to be known and embraced.
What protective parts of you are working hard to keep your vulnerability out of view today? What do these protective parts say or do to keep you from being exposed? What happens when you let your protective parts know that you see your own innocence now, and your vulnerability is increasingly acceptable to you? Can you in fact be with your vulnerability - your innocence and openness - your desire for connection and acceptance - with an open heart right now? If not, what’s in the way? And…if there is something in the way, take a good look at this protector and offer it some appreciation for all the work it has been doing to shield you from more pain. It too is innocent and well intentioned. Just like the rest of you.
If you would like to explore and heal mistrust in yourself, our Belonging Group may be a good fit for you. For information about our Belonging Group, email hello@familytreewellness.org
Written by Jessica Sorci, LMFT