Bad or Just Imperfect?
“I yelled at my kid yesterday. I am such a Bad Mom.” (This could also read: “I yelled at my partner yesterday. I am such a bad partner.”)
Are you, though? Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Making a mistake – operating outside your value system – does not make you a “Bad Mom.” Repairing these minor rifts brings us back in line with our values and shows our loved ones that we really care about them.
Here are some tips for how to do this:
Look them in the eye, and speak from the heart. If you find yourself getting emotional, let it come. Real feelings show our loved ones that we mean what we are saying. Vulnerability is the way to connection.
Speak in a soft, warm voice. If they are verbal, ask them if they accept your apology. If they don’t, ask them if they need some time to consider or if there’s more to discuss.
Remind yourself that you will get another opportunity to do things differently next time. Each day is a new learning experience. You are evolving and learning how to be a mom (and partner).
Your identity is shifting, but you still have the same core. Getting in touch with this Core Self may be the next step in your self-exploration.
Written by:
Rebecca Geshuri
LMFT